Three years ago I was operating in my relationship like most women do. I was doing everything for everyone. Emotionally my life felt like a rollercoaster. I was exhausted, depleted, overwhelmed and full of resentment. It was a struggle taking responsibility for everyone emotionally and physically.
I felt like I had to be the strong one and keep my shit together all the time. My biggest fear was that I was failing as a mum and a wife. I was doing everything for everyone and I still felt like I was failing.
I kept waiting for someone else to give me permission to look after myself and do something for me. Like I needed my husband's permission to actually do something for me.
Until one day I realised that I would be waiting forever because the only person who can put me first is me. I was missing out on so much love and life just waiting.
It was a cost I was not willing to pay anymore. The pain of missing out on enjoying my children, my husband and my life was far more painful and harder to live with than a messy house.
From that moment on I stopped being everything to everyone else and no one to myself. I started choosing me and I realised that it was my job all along to put myself first.
I started to feel so much happier and lighter in myself and everything started to feel easier.